Have you ever been called a handful? Or too much?

Or even worse, a nuisance? A motormouth?

Ugh. It’s so heartbreaking and demoralizing. It can really put the idea in your head that something is wrong with you, that you’re not normal, that they don’t even like spending time with you. That they’re forced to… against their will.

That you are in need of major improvement. Or a personality transplant.

Or an exorcism.

They were too overwhelmed to give you what you needed. They couldn’t see your magic through the dirty film of their conditioning. Children were seen and not heard, they stayed quiet and didn’t ask for much. This was their expectation, and you didn’t meet it. Instead, you exceeded it. By far.

As long as we’re participating in The Great Resignation, learning what solidarity is, and proving that working from home is, for many folks, *more* productive… can we also please chuck the standard boring resume over the fence too?

I needed to build a LinkedIn profile for my copywriting business. It has all these resume-like sections so I started cutting and pasting from my old resume.

And I almost fell asleep.

IT. WAS. SO. BORING.

So I started having fun.

Is this even safe?

What am I thinking?

I cannot possibly do this. I’m in so far over my head.

This is waaaaaaay too much work… and for a pitiful $16/hour?

I need to rethink my entire existence.

Plot Twist: It gets worse.

Counselors were not allowed tasers or pepper spray… nothing for self-defense.

Only wall cameras to record the inevitable carnage… to view it after the tragedy unfolds.

“Well, we see what happened and how that poor new counselor was stabbed with a sharpened toilet brush for playing When Doves Cry on her iPod one too many times. That’s a shame.”

Maybe I’d get lucky and they’d play Prince at my going away party, from my hospital bed.